What are your feelings for? What do they tell you? Do you know the difference between feeling inadequate, sad, bored or fearful? More importantly, do you have a healthy way to satisfy those feelings once you have identified them?
We spend on average 13 years being taught reading, writing, math, and science but in all that schooling our feelings are never mentioned, that is until we act out inappropriately on them. Once that happens then it is about punishment for the bad behavior rather than a search to understand the need, want or desire the person is attempting to fulfill. This can create an unhealthy sense of self-worth and value. It sends a message that our feelings are not important and we learn quickly which feelings are socially acceptable to share and which are not. The constant social pressure to keep what we are feeling suppressed encourages unhealthy distractive behaviors like overeating, smoking, and drinking.
I am here to tell you unequivocally that "All Feelings Are Good!" They are our internal navigation system. The old saying "If it doesn't feel good, don't do it" hits the nail on the head. If something in your life is causing you to suffer or feel bad or get angry, then that something is not good for you. The "bad" feelings we experience are there to motivate us to take action to satisfy a need, want or desire.
Imagine that your feelings are like the lights on the dashboard of a car each one identifying a need, want or desire that needs our attention. Unfortunately, because we have become so conditioned to suppressing and ignoring our feelings we don't know what to do when the lights come on let alone when they start blinking. Here is an example: You are on a summer road trip and the cars temperature light comes on so you find the closest gas station, pull up to the pumps and fill the tank with gas. The engine has cooled in the process of filling the tank and so the light stays off for a few miles but then, sure enough, it comes back on and so you stop again, only this time when you try to put gas in the tank it overflows, so you go in and buy a gas can, fill it up, put it in the trunk and take off. Again the engine has cooled and the light is off but just a mile down the road the light comes back on and now your becoming angry and frustrated because what you're doing isn't working. You are not satisfying the needs of the car's engine and it eventually overheats and breaks down. We call this the "Feel Bad - Distract" cycle. Here is another example of the process. Someone feels something like anger or loneliness, the temperature light, so they go get an ice cream cone, the gas, and it makes them feel good for a moment but then that feeling comes back but because the ice cream did not do the trick, filling the tank, this time they have a handful of cookies, the can of gas in the trunk, and they still feel bad so frustration sets in because again there has been no satisfying response to the initial feeling, the temperature gauge, eventually the body, mind, and spirit breaks down just like the car. The problem here is that no amount of gas will fix a temperature problem and no amount of food, alcohol, drugs or cigarettes will ever fix feeling anxious, sad, lonely, angry or depressed.
So how do we break this "feel bad, distract" cycle? That's the simple part. We start to recognize and honor our feelings while allowing them to guide us towards what we really need, want and desire.
We get off the couch and learn to utilize the tools that are available to use like 7th Path Self Hypnosis or we find someone to help guide us to a fulfilling life. The life we were intended to have.
Call 206-549-1108 today to find out how hypnosis can help you lead a better life today.